Boundary Issues: Using Boundary Intelligence to Get the Intimacy You Want and the Independence You Need in Life, Love, and Work

Psychological boundaries determine how we reconcile our seemingly contradictory needs for both intimacy and independence, closeness and separateness. The struggle to reconcile these needs dominates our emotional lives. In this fascinating book, journalist, coach, and social psychologist Jane Adams explains how boundaries can allow us to invite others in to share our deepest selves while they protect us from "emotional trespass." Psychological boundaries are no less real than physical ones, and how you act them out in your relationships―your Boundary Style―is uniquely personal. In BoundaryIssues, you'll learn how to use your Boundary Intelligence to manage your boundaries. Moreover, you'll learn how to adjust your Boundary Style to improve your relationships without endless hours on a therapist's couch, a complete psychological makeover, or the sacrifice of your own authenticity and autonomy. Informed by psychological theory and research and illustrated with real-life stories, anecdotes, and examples drawn from everyday experiences, this ground-breaking book explores how boundaries develop and change at every stage of your life. Boundary Issues features a unique self-assessment questionnaire to help you identify your own Boundary Style and recognize how it influences all your relationships. Using the four basic skills of Boundary Intelligence―insight, awareness, intention, and action―you'll learn how to use boundaries to resolve conflict, transform your important personal and professional connections, and satisfy your deepest emotional needs. This smart, engaging, helpful, and accessible book will forever change the way you interact with everyone in your life―the people you love, the friends you treasure, and the colleagues you work with.